| 50 Reasons why GAA is better than soccer |
Paul Gascoigne.
The offside rule. Boring.
Bribery scandals.
Because the championship has always been the Championship. The League of Ireland has had more new improved formulas than most washing powders.
Because GAA heroes generally don't turn into villains overnight.
Vinnie Jones would bawl like a baby if he ever came up against Brian
Mullins (Brian McGilligan, Brian Corcoran..) and that's just three Brians that spring to mind.
The GAA may not appreciate its women as much as it should, but at least we all know who Angela Downey is. The most famous woman in English soccer is Posh Spice.
It's hard to feel passionate about any sport that John Major feels
passionate about. Plus David Mellor never made love to anyone while wearing a GAA jersey.
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Andy Gray.
Jimmy Hill.
Micheal O'Murcheartaigh.
Nobody sings "You'll never beat the Irish" at GAA games.
RTE would never foist Brendan O'Carroll on the GAA viewership.
Gerard Houillier.
No segregation at GAA matches.
The GAA player who performs in front of 70,000 at the weekend will be
teaching your kids on Monday or he'll be selling you meat or fixing your
drains or representing you in court. The soccer player who performs in
front of 70,000 fans at the weekend will be moaning about too many games
and trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear.
GAA players don't sell stories to the Sun.
GAA players don't have stories that the Sun would want to buy.
Bungs
Backpasses.
Barry Venison's dress sense
Jack Walker can buy a league title. You can't buy an All-Ireland.
Nobody ever proposed making GAA goals bigger. Not even Charlie Redmond.
GAA nicknames are better: Sambo Hunter, Fat Larry, Babs, Bingo and so on. Soccer players just add a Y to each other's surnames.
You always remember what county your Irish teacher came from.
GAA people care so much about the weaker GAA counties that we sensitively refer to them as the "so-called weaker counties". English soccer just makes the premier league smaller.
How many soccer players does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven. One to stick it in. Ten to hug and kiss him afterwards.
Soccer players go to Rumours. GAA players go to the pub.
If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.
DJ Carey in full flight.
Sky runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA.
Jimmy Barry Murphy was the coolest skinhead ever to grace a playing field.
There's nothing like seeing the bonfires blazing when a winning team
reaches its home borders.
The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves
soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please."
GAA players run faster, hit harder and last longer. Nobody acts like a
grenade just went off if they get tripped.
GAA teams are numbered one to fifteen, soccer team shirts read like the
Lotto results.
All soccer players wear shinguards. Some hurling players even wear helmets.
The GAA is about where you're from. English Premiership soccer is about who you like.
The GAA won't sell us all out by starting a European SuperLeague.
Old soccer players get testimonials, Old GAA players just slip down to
junior. Dog rough it is too.
Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park.
Ghosted soccer biographies.
England soccer managers in the Sun.
No soccer team has a name quite as lovely as that belonging to Fighting
Cocks of Carlow.
There are always two men in white coats behind each goal at GAA games. Very wise.
Croke Park.
The bands are better - Go on the Artane Boys!.
"The Clash of the Ash" was a great film about the GAA. "Escape to Victory" was a film about soccer. It starred Michael Caine, Bobby Moore, Pele and Sylvester Stallone.
Roy of the Rovers was a prat.
Roy Keane is a complete failure, he used to play Hurling for Cork, now hes just a soccer player.
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